So Long Summer!

It is so simple to discern when our sweltering summer makes its grand departure around here that it's almost criminal. Not only does the arrival of the new School year attack like some pencil-clawed devil, but also the local establishments have completely eradicated their supply of sunny-weather goods for the onslaught of autumn/Christmas goodies. It's not enough to inundate the marketplace with Halloween merchandise right at the onset of September, oh no, the merchants must festoon the aisles with Christmas geegaws as well. Ah Fall, no season is quite like it here in Michigan; colors changing more rapidly than Paris Hilton's panties, the temperature fluctuations more arbitrary than George Bush's exit strategy, and holiday goods more overstocked than Kirsty Alley's cupboards. Just as lovely as it comes, you know? But, just the same, I am mentally unfit to handle the Holidays at this point. Monetary woes not withstanding. I just don't have the feeling just yet one generally associates with the oncoming holiday extravaganza. Yes, I know that Halloween is less than a month and a half away and, realistically, I ought to begin thinking about just what we should be dressing our children up in. I was thinking of orphan rags so, just maybe, some random family will be stricken with emotion over their waifish and slovenly appearances and whisk them away... wait, that's just sick and wrong. Maybe some random RICH family will... aw, forget it. No, I suppose we better stick with the basics; Charlie was Luke Skywalker last year, I'd be willing to be he'll go with something Star Wars-esqe this Halloween as well. Simon was Bob The Builder, that was pretty cool and, as costume kits go, relatively costly. Maybe I can talk them into wearing burlap and going as a sack of potatoes. Or, what about one black and one white and going as either half of Yin and Yang. No, stupid and, probably, religiously demeaning. I know! Simon can ride Charlie's shoulders, we toss a sheet with a few eye-holes in it, and they go as a really clumsy and and top-heavy ghost. Maybe something more in the range of Simon in a sack and Charlie as a farmer and they can go as Fertilizing Time. Forget it, I have no idea, but I'm pretty sure it's going to cost money. On the other hand, Addison has some kind of princess get-up she's going to wear since: a) she loves pretty dresses, and b) she doesn't get a say, regardless. Girls are easier! I looked outside today during our wind storm we had going on, and I'm pretty sure (well, Amy was anyway) that the leaves are starting to already turn. Look, I've said it before: I'm colorblind. The only leaves I really like post-metamorphosis are the bright yellow ones. I have no trouble seeing yellow, and, so far, this hasn't benefited me in the least. But, you toss a fist full of colored objects onto a dark floor (my friend used to do this with M&M's on dark shag) and I'm useless. I can stare at a red object and a green object and maybe, by sheer dumb luck, I'll find something yellow to look at. So, what I'm trying to say is, I could care less about leaf changes. I only really like fall because it smells better, fewer allergies permeate my ever-weakening nose, and it's so much cooler outside... sort of. I suppose this is mythical, too, since our wedding day, eight years ago, on September 25th, was 90 degrees. Michigan is like some kind of special-needs child: never sure what it wants and never happy with what it gets. So as I peruse the Halloween goodies strewn about the stores and do my best to avoid the pangs of irritation the Christmas crap brings me, I can only come to one conclusion: At least summer had far fewer holidays. Bah... Stew