Though not as prevalent as they once were, animated mascots are often times more memorable than the products themselves! Oh sure, we've all eaten M&M's -I like the peanut ones best- but how many times have you glanced at a handful of that melt-in-your-mouth goodness and pictured the little talking guys on the commercial? Or, would a certain fabric softener be as pronounced without its fluffy white teddy bear? I submit that it would not. Anyway, here are ten of the most famous animated product mascots of all time.
10. Dominoes Pizza Noid
'Avoid the Noid!' Exclaimed the Dominoes Pizza ad of years ago. Yep, the asinine, red-eared freak exploded sales for the '30-minutes or it's free' pizza place and managed to mumble his way into pop-culture history. Everything from video games to Simpsons references, the damn Noid still creeps back into the vernacular from time to time.
9. Erin (eSurance)
So nice she's on here twice (MMMmmmm...)
How nauseatingly hot is Erin from eSurance? Sweet Mary Pickford, just Googling her name brought up results of some very clever (see: nasty) results of Miss Surance in some rather, *ahem* uncomfortable positions. Apparently people are secretly in love with her and/or are fucking psychotic.
8. California Raisins
Remember the California Raisins Christmas Special? Man, that was an awesome show. They used to run it every year with the Garfield one, and the one thing that really sticks with me (aside from the obvious fact that all of the raisins looked exactly like purple turd wads) was their rendition or 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer'. So soulful, so jazzy.... so raisin-y.
7. 7*Up Spot
The Spot. That completely insane animated red dot that, by the magic of television, leapt from the 7*Up can and crazily flung himself about like a rabid badger. Then, for some rather inane reason, climbed back aboard the can, and suddenly lost all of his available limbs. Ah, ads... sometimes you just plain confuse me. Oh, and just in case it wasn't obvious by the packaging above, this snazzy lad had a video game, much like nearly all of the rest of them. Say, that looks fun!
6. Snuggle Bear
"I've come for your SOUL!"
There was something inherently sinister about the fucking bear. I don't know if it was his saccharine sweetness smothering everything like a fine patina of caramel that hid, somewhere beneath, a hell-spawn just begging for release, or perhaps it was his child-like and innocent voice that rent through my skull like a flaming dagger. Either way, this bear was evil, evil, EVIL and I, for one, could not be gladder of his extinction.
5. Geico Gecko
" 'Ello, then! Buy som'fin, love?"
See, now this cat is cool. I just can't help but dig his Cockney accent hocking me car insurance. I really could pretty much listen to this little lizard sell me a sack of flaming shit, and you know... I might just buy it.
Oh, Mr. Clean you sexy bald bastard... even Chad Sexington, the Burly man, has nothing on your svelte ass! You, sir, can drag your earringed head into my kitchen anytime and scrub the shit out of my nasty floors! Oh, baby! I could watch your taught genie-butt wiggle those stubborn grease spots of my stove any damn day of the week! Oh, wait, where was I...
3. M&M's
I would, without a moment's hesitation, eat these little fuckers. Yep, just snap a big old bite out of 'em. Not gonna melt in my hands, now, are ya... HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
2. Chester Cheetah
Nothing screams processed-cheese puffs like a damn Big Cat. I tell ya, that's the very first thing I though of while watching Charlie the Lonesome Cougar and The Lion King: bring on the fuckin' cheese puffs, man! Yeah, sure, Chester was the sly, too-cool-for-school, wise-assed cat that just begged to advertise for the cheesy snack, but all things being fare, he deserved to get beaten down.
1. The Cereals
"They're Grrr *HACK* stuck in my throat!"
"Better move your car, I'm about to make Fruit Loops!"
"I'm captain of the S.S. unemployed...*SOB*"
I have to be honest here: had half these cereals not been overtly commercialized by these ridiculous mascots, I'd have seriously reconsidered eating them. Most, in fact, taste like honey-coated potpourri and I'm just not too big a fan of Rice Krispies as a whole, anyway. I'll happily eat Fruity Pebbles, Cocoa Puffs, and Cinnamon Toast Crunch, but only because a couple of cartoons told me to. I'm a push over like that, you see.
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