Let us take ride in the old Sherman and Peabody-Sponsored Way-Back Machine and explore the decade that was the 80's: Carefree, Regan-omics in full control, everyone walking around like nothing could possibly go wrong. And for the children, it was all about the candy. The 80's offered up some of the finest assortments of confections ever seen and ever tasted. I can recall my mom, or grandmother, taking us to the G.L. Perry Variety Store in the Southland Mall and telling my brother and I, "You can choose either a little toy or candy." Well, we all know either/or options suck, but who wanted a crappy little toy that was going to break right out of the package when you could, instead, enjoy some wonderful candy for the few moments it lasted. It was always candy for me, the choice was never difficult. I loved candy as a kid, and I still do, though my tastes have matured somewhat -I can't really stomach all that sweet goodness I adored as a child- I'll always have some decent treats handy. Oh, and my kids, now, are exactly the very candy fiends I was way back then. So, here are the twenty sweets I enjoyed so much as a lad, and I hope they bring back some memories for you, as well. Incidentally, there is no gum or wax confections on this list, since neither is actually candy. I'll put up a gum list soon, though. Promise.
20. Mamba
Mambas were a bit like Starburst, but I always preferred them, likely because, back then anyway, Mamba offered up a larger variety of flavors. These were great when you gave up being patient and just crammed a ton in your mouth.
Mambas were a bit like Starburst, but I always preferred them, likely because, back then anyway, Mamba offered up a larger variety of flavors. These were great when you gave up being patient and just crammed a ton in your mouth.
19. Lik-M-Aid Fun Dip
My brother was a big fan of these guys. I never had the time or inclination to lick the same stick over and over while scooping up minuscule bits of candy dust. You could, though, eat the stick. Yeah, that does sound gross, thanks for pointing it out.
My brother was a big fan of these guys. I never had the time or inclination to lick the same stick over and over while scooping up minuscule bits of candy dust. You could, though, eat the stick. Yeah, that does sound gross, thanks for pointing it out.
18. Runts
Now you can readily find Runts hiding out in vending machines in virtually any convenience store or restaurant. Back in the day, though, these guys only came in boxes and there was something special and different about the cool fruit flavors. I always pretended I was a monkey. I was an odd little kid.
Now you can readily find Runts hiding out in vending machines in virtually any convenience store or restaurant. Back in the day, though, these guys only came in boxes and there was something special and different about the cool fruit flavors. I always pretended I was a monkey. I was an odd little kid.
17. Pixy Stix
I have to hand it to those marketing strategists behind this astounding creation. I suppose, when it comes to finding something no one else has done, why not just combine a bunch of sugar with some fruity citric acid and call it a day. If you got a nose-full of this stuff you were out of commission for a good while.
I have to hand it to those marketing strategists behind this astounding creation. I suppose, when it comes to finding something no one else has done, why not just combine a bunch of sugar with some fruity citric acid and call it a day. If you got a nose-full of this stuff you were out of commission for a good while.
16. Rolo
15. Pop Rocks
Legend had it that if you combined the raw explosive power of the Pop Rocks with the concussive strength of Coke in your mouth, you'd either blow your own cheeks out or collapse your stomach. Evidently this was how poor Mikey from the Life Cereal ads died, as well. Yeah, those were hilarious urban legends to be sure. Anyway, I do recommend you try it just for the sheer nagging feeling that it might, just maybe, be true. Go ahead.
Legend had it that if you combined the raw explosive power of the Pop Rocks with the concussive strength of Coke in your mouth, you'd either blow your own cheeks out or collapse your stomach. Evidently this was how poor Mikey from the Life Cereal ads died, as well. Yeah, those were hilarious urban legends to be sure. Anyway, I do recommend you try it just for the sheer nagging feeling that it might, just maybe, be true. Go ahead.
14. Bottle Caps
What I loved about Bottle Caps was that they were supposed to taste like pop. And they did, much in the vein that root beer barrels taste like root beer. That is to say, not really but definitely passable. I remember a gum, maybe Hubba Bubba, that had a soda variation. The, Hubba Bubba made a soda of its own. Not good.
What I loved about Bottle Caps was that they were supposed to taste like pop. And they did, much in the vein that root beer barrels taste like root beer. That is to say, not really but definitely passable. I remember a gum, maybe Hubba Bubba, that had a soda variation. The, Hubba Bubba made a soda of its own. Not good.
13. Lemonhead
Back before the real sour candy craze took off, Lemonhead was they way to go for pure puckering power. Once you got past the outer shell, though, it was kind of boring. Still, it was lots of fun to see how many you could cram in your face before you couldn't breathe! Yay for childhood stupidity!
Back before the real sour candy craze took off, Lemonhead was they way to go for pure puckering power. Once you got past the outer shell, though, it was kind of boring. Still, it was lots of fun to see how many you could cram in your face before you couldn't breathe! Yay for childhood stupidity!
12. The Everlasting Gobstopper
Made by the Wonka company and, if memory serves, they made an appearance in the Gene Wilder classic in a different shape variation. Though not really everlasting, if you got one of those golf ball-sized beauties you could, potentially, be working on one of those for a few days.
Made by the Wonka company and, if memory serves, they made an appearance in the Gene Wilder classic in a different shape variation. Though not really everlasting, if you got one of those golf ball-sized beauties you could, potentially, be working on one of those for a few days.
11. Jolly Rancher
We had an arcade here in Kalamazoo called Star World back in the day. It was pitch black, noisy as hell, and one of the most amazing places in town to a kid. Anyway, one of the millions of candy and trinket choices you were offered for accumulating tickets was the Jolly Rancher stick. They had every conceivable flavor all lined up in plastic cookie jars. I was always a big fan of the apple. Ah, memories *sniff*.
We had an arcade here in Kalamazoo called Star World back in the day. It was pitch black, noisy as hell, and one of the most amazing places in town to a kid. Anyway, one of the millions of candy and trinket choices you were offered for accumulating tickets was the Jolly Rancher stick. They had every conceivable flavor all lined up in plastic cookie jars. I was always a big fan of the apple. Ah, memories *sniff*.
10. Caramello
9. Chunky
For the longest time I assumed Chunky's were awful and a complete waste of good chocolate. I mean who in their right mind incorporates raisins in a candy bar? Sadists, that's who! I would always farm these guys out of my Halloween bag to my dad, he loved 'em. Anyway, as it turns out, they are pretty good after all. Who knew? Sadists, that's who!
For the longest time I assumed Chunky's were awful and a complete waste of good chocolate. I mean who in their right mind incorporates raisins in a candy bar? Sadists, that's who! I would always farm these guys out of my Halloween bag to my dad, he loved 'em. Anyway, as it turns out, they are pretty good after all. Who knew? Sadists, that's who!
8. Reese's Pieces
7. Chocolate Cigarettes
I know, let's all get our impressionable children to pretend they can smoke by offering them chocolate cigarettes. Sounds like a million-dollar strategy to me. Fun to eat and fun to pretend you have lung cancer! And they blamed Joe Camel! Good Lord!
I know, let's all get our impressionable children to pretend they can smoke by offering them chocolate cigarettes. Sounds like a million-dollar strategy to me. Fun to eat and fun to pretend you have lung cancer! And they blamed Joe Camel! Good Lord!
6. Sugar Daddy
In the late eighties I was in High School. One year we had to sell magazine subscriptions for some stupid class trip I didn't even want to go on. Anyway, for selling the third-most subscriptions in the class, I won this massive, TV-tray sized Sugar Daddy. The thing was oppressive, obtrusive, and delicious. I ate about a third of it and the rest melted all over a bunch of my MAD Magazines. Memories *choke*.
In the late eighties I was in High School. One year we had to sell magazine subscriptions for some stupid class trip I didn't even want to go on. Anyway, for selling the third-most subscriptions in the class, I won this massive, TV-tray sized Sugar Daddy. The thing was oppressive, obtrusive, and delicious. I ate about a third of it and the rest melted all over a bunch of my MAD Magazines. Memories *choke*.
5. Nerds
Though Nerds were undeniably tasty, they had the horrible ability to create a massive build-up of candy phlegm in your throat that would eventually cause you to nearly choke to death. Oh, but the bi-flavored idea was pure genius.
Though Nerds were undeniably tasty, they had the horrible ability to create a massive build-up of candy phlegm in your throat that would eventually cause you to nearly choke to death. Oh, but the bi-flavored idea was pure genius.
4. PEZ
Yeah, I know that picture doesn't accurately illustrate dispensers from the eighties, I just liked the lay-out. Anyway, this candy and toy combination was a very smart idea. In fact, we always used to get one or two for Christmas and I, eventually, amassed quite the candy collection. I always like the strawberry the best, but you'd most often find orange, grape, and lemon. I do have all the Star Wars ones, so that's pretty cool.
Yeah, I know that picture doesn't accurately illustrate dispensers from the eighties, I just liked the lay-out. Anyway, this candy and toy combination was a very smart idea. In fact, we always used to get one or two for Christmas and I, eventually, amassed quite the candy collection. I always like the strawberry the best, but you'd most often find orange, grape, and lemon. I do have all the Star Wars ones, so that's pretty cool.
3. Bonkers
2. Giant Chewy Sweet Tarts
Something about these Sweet Tarts really stood out against their smaller brethren. It almost felt like (to me, anyway) that I was eating a big candy sandwich. I don't know, that's just what I thought of. I also believed they tasted better, somehow.
1. Tootsie Pop
Something about these Sweet Tarts really stood out against their smaller brethren. It almost felt like (to me, anyway) that I was eating a big candy sandwich. I don't know, that's just what I thought of. I also believed they tasted better, somehow.
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4 comments:
THE SODA POP GUM WAS EITHER A&W ROOT BEER, 7 UP GUM OR DR PEPPER GUM... ALL THREE NWERE VERY GOOD.....GREAT ARTICLE BY THE WAY
I lived out by Crooked Lake, so our candy joint was the Crooked Lake Market. I loved going to Star World on Monday nights for $5 "all you can play" video games. The GL Perry sucked for candy - should've just gone to Family Foods.
genx13@aol.com
I am so glad to have snagged a local! You have no idea how much it made me shudder with the DeJa Vu having you mention Family Foods... awesome. Thanks for the comment!
Would you by chance know the best selling candies from the 80's?
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