The Top Twelve Cartoon Whores

Ladies of the cartoon world have a tendency to be a little on the flighty side. And even less appropriately, a bit too slutty for their own good. Just take a look at any given animated female from past or present and chances are you can spot yourself one that appears as if she gets around a little too often, if you get my meaning. Need an example? Well, look no further than this list and I think you'll come away a smarter and more wary individual. Think before you fall in love with a toon chick; sometimes the pain just isn't worth the effort, ya know?

12) JUDY JETSON

So, George and smoking-hot MILF, Jane, created two offspring. Elroy is your run-of-the-mill every-kid, however Judy... Oh sweet mercy, JUDY, is a fucking goddess! And you just know she's out nightly working the space-lanes finding her 'one-nighter'. Oh Judy, why must you be so WRONG!

11) BETTY BOOP

There really is no need to describe Betty's absolute sexiness only to point out the fact that her head looks like a pillow. And that, my friend, can not be a bad thing.

10) JOSIE (AND LIKELY THE PUSSYCATS)

When you take a band of outlandishly fetching twenty-something women (for sake of taste, couth, and argument, we're assuming these kitties are, indeed, twenty-something) and shove them under the lime light, one can't doubt that the groupies are getting themselves a little pussy cat tail. Stare, if you will -for a moment- at the tiny outfits and cat-like add-ons these vixens are sporting and just try not to feel fucking guilty about it. Go on... TRY!

9) MINNIE MOUSE

Pure, innocent, wholesome Minnie Mouse, oh how you have us all duped. The act is well played and the charade is almost bullet-proof, but there's a reason why this joke exists: Why was Mickey mad at Minnie? Cuz she was FUCKIN GOOFY! That's right.

8) BETTY RUBBLE

I can almost guarantee you that in this picture, Betty is operating and under-cover 1-900 sex phone scam. And scam or not, I'd call that number until my AT&T bill looked like the federal deficit. This bitch has all of that, and a big box of donuts... Mmm Hmm!

7) SCARLETT

Military chick? Check. Hot bitch? Double Check. Likely bangin' Duke and Roadblock? Triple-Dog-Check. Lady J has got to be the most jealous woman in the Joe camp, but who cares when you know damn well it's gonna spurn hot, HOT girl-on-girl arguments and soapy, wet, fighting. I need to get a ticket to that.

6) TRIXIE

Poor Trixie. Speed Racer is always out racing, or driving, or racing... and little old Trixie gets left behind. Shit, even Spritle and Chim Chim hide out in the damn trunk of the Mach 5! Well, my little 'Turn-A-Trixie', I'll be right over...

5) DAPHNE

Ever wonder why Scoob and Shag head off on their own misadventures and the little portly wench, Velma constantly breaks her glasses? Well, it's obviously so Daphne here and her boy-toy; the ignorant jock, Fred, can slyly sidle over to a darkened corner and 'investigate' themselves. And by 'investigate', I mean have sex with each other... just so we're clear.

4) CHEETARA

Hi, Cheetara. How's it going? No, no, I'm not allergic to *ACHOO* cats, why? *SNIFF* I see how you're giving me that coy little glance over your smooth, somewhat-furry shoulder... yeah *ACHOO* I like it like that. Play with my *SNIFF* scratching post? Wait, what?

3) OLIVE OYLE

By far the least sexy of the crew here, but I'd be willing to bet she can get downright nasty! Wafer-thin, bean-pole-esque, as attractive as a scarecrow and just as intelligent, Olive Oyle is not one to back down from Bluto's winsome advances and will likely stop at nothing to prove the axiom about sucking a golf ball through a garden hose.

2) SMURFETTE

Let me lay it all out for you right here: 1 female Smurf + 100 male Smurfs = throwing a hot dog down a hallway. I think you know what I mean. Sloppy 45th's, anyone?

1) JESSICA RABBIT

I don't care if I am only human, that fucking rabbit may only be drawn bad, but I would certainly dip my pen in company ink. And having the smoky voice of Kathleen Turner from Body Heat... I think my quill is dripping. Sure, she pleads faithfulness, but when it comes to protecting her dear Roger, I can imagine her illustrated curves being open for business. Good-ness!