I've been making really nice and pleasant lists for a few solid weeks now, so, just because I damn well feel like it, here's a bit of a stupid, slightly nasty little list featuring seriously unfortunate product names. These things are all real, no Photoshopping necessary. Yeah, I know most of these things are common place and nearly everyone has heard of them, but they have particularly ridiculous names none the less. So just chuckle a little, and get on with your day.
10. Pussy Willow
A fine name for a plant, no doubt, but for linens? Well, that just reeks of an invitation, wouldn't you say?
9. Spotted Dick
One can only hope that this is a delicious spongy pudding product and not a can of what it actually says it is. Either way, I'm not opening it.
8. Corn Husker's Lotion
Quite good on the old gnarled-up mitts, so I understand. How many actual corn huskers do you know, by the way?
7. Goop
This stuff evidently has a hundred fantastic uses, including, but not limited to, cleaning your shop-worn hands and cleaning laundry! Yum, goopy!
6. 666 Cold Preparation
"Yeah, doctor? Her head just did a complete 360 and she's spraying green crap all over the room! Oh, right, we've got some of that..."
5. Nads
You'd think for a hair removal solution the company would have steered away from names so damn close to the target area. Then again, I guess you'll always remember it.
4. Bag Balm
Intended for use on the farm for those nasty, crusty cow udder bags (FOUL!) but equally as effective on your chapped and cracked areas. Yup, there, too.
3. Rub-Ons
"Mom, can I rub one of these off to rub it on?... Mom?"
2. Tired Old Ass Cream
I guess it's what it sounds like. How's your tired old ass?
1. Hole Reamer
No and no.
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