My Personal Top 10 Favorite Web Sites

I spend an inordinate amount of time on line. That fact is certainly no big secret. In fact, once I'm home from work and I'm finished playing and 'dealing with' the kids, I am all about hanging out on the net. However, just to be clear, I don't do chatting, I think My Space is about a fucking annoying as a blast to the jewels, and I'm not even remotely interested in Fcebook. But, what I do enjoy, is wasting a few hours away on my favorite sites. And now, without further pause, here are my top 10 favorite web sites to spend some quality time at.

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X- JOSH READS CRAPPY COMICS (THE COMICS CURMUDGEON)

We all know that newspaper comics are horrendous and basically pointless. I mean aside from classics like Peanuts (God rest Charles), and occasionally Garfield, and even more infrequently Speed Bump, the comic page is chock full of big wastes of time. Look, I'm an artist, too, and I'm not in the paper, so I guess I can't bitch too much, but this guy certainly can. Check Him Out Right Here for a wonderful belly laugh overstuffed with delicious joy. Here's a clip, as well.

Mary Worth, 2/21/08

Like most of Mary Worth, panel one of today’s strip is more enjoyable if you spend time thinking about the passive-aggressive subtext. “Yeah, dad, after, what, fifteen minutes spent actually helping people in country, you’ve spent a lot of weeks sitting on your ass in your minty green sweater trying to raise money — how’s that been going, huh? Oh, you found one generous sponsor? I’m sure those little kids with the deformed limbs are soooo happy about that.”

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IX- THE HOMESTARRUNNER I can honestly not think of a funnier animated site on the net that makes me laugh like a school boy as consistently as Homestarrunner. The brothers Chaps are unadulterated geniuses and ought to be lofted on a high pedestal above all others. Jeez, you'd almost think I knew these guys or something? Anyway, I highly doubt these guys need my endorsement judging from their immense popularity, Here's The Link Anyway. Stop on by!

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VIII- KISSING SUZY KOLBER

What's even better than watching sports? Why, laughing out loud at the plethora of silly shit that goes on repetitively in the sporting world, that's what! And what better place to do it than right here. Trust me, few sites even remotely come close to this kind of almost obnoxious humor. Great stuff. Here's a little taste:

Welcome Back To The Radio Show For 50 Year Olds Who Don’t Get Out Enough

(cue “Hey Jude” by The Beatles) Tony: What song is this? Is this Jim Croce? Wait, I know this… (gets to “na na na” part) Tony: Oh, it’s “Hey Jude”! Of course it is. It must be Paul McCartney’s birthday today. The Beatles, of course, (clears throat) were founded in Liverpool, a town I have never been to and will never go to for as long as I live. (everyone in the studio laughs for no reason) Tony: The Beatles, as you know, were VERY, VERY popular here in the United States, what with Beatlemania and all. (clears throat) Then they went to India and started meditating (clears throat) and then everything just went right to hell.

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VII- THE PERRY BIBLE FELLOWSHIP

Once again it should come as no surprise that I am quite fond of sites featuring awesome art coupled with sick, twisted, morally reprehensible humor. So, dropping by this bastion of all things fantastic will automatically enroll you in the Perry Bible Fellowship. The membership is free. Once again, the following is but a taste.

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VI- AIN'T IT COOL NEWS

Likes them movies there do ya? Likes ta get yer news from them there folks what know what they's yakkin' about? Whelp, sonny, hang yer hat right here and peruse the grounds fer a spell! I'd be willing to bet Harry Knowles would be darn happy you did. Yep.

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V- WHAT'S THAT BUG?

I don't really know why, but I have this weird fascination with bugs. However, let me clear something up. I'm none too fond of seeing a bug up close since they're generally all buggy and leggy and stuff, but I do enjoy looking at them on a picture where they can't, presumably, crawl themselves all over my pussy ass. Anyway, make an unscheduled detour right here for all your secret bug-lovin' needs. Oh look, a sample!

Bug of the Month: February 2008 Longhorned Borer Beetle: Tragidion peninsularum (01/31/2008) I have a strange bug I found him in my backyard, in Murrieta California. Do you know who he is?

Linda

Hi Linda, My is this photo positively gorgeous, and the beetle itself is equally stunning. We finally located a matching image on BugGuide from Arizona, Tragidion annulatum. Margarethe Brummermann posted the following comment: "If I read the source correctly annulatum was the original name and is still used for the Southwest population, whereas peninsulare is a later split-off for the California and Baja populations." We then followed a link to an image of Tragidion peninsularum. We are happy identifying your specimen as Trigidion peninsularum unless we are proven wrong. It is also the end of the month and time to select a Bug of the Month for February. We like to post timely sightings for that honor that will help readers with seasonal identifications. This species is a first for our site, and perhaps there will be additional sightings in California this year, so we are thrilled to make your Tragidion peninsularum the Bug of the Month for February 2008. We will write to Eric Eaton in the hopes that he will confirm this identification, and perhaps add some relevant information. Hi, Daniel: I can't make a call on the longhorned beetle, other than to say the genus and gender are both correct.... Eric

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IV- GORILLA MASK

This guy right here scours the net for some of the funniest, most outrageous, and incredibly far out bits you might not otherwise locate on your own! And thank God for it, because attempting to find all of this great stuff right here without a guide like Gorilla Mask is just far too much effort. What's that? A sample you say? Okee dokee!

As cool as this wedding first dance is, I kept expecting the bride's boob to pop out of that low-cut dress. Oh well, maybe next time.

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III- FARK

Much like Gorilla Mask, Drew Curtis and his FARK team are masters at tracking down what appeals most to all types from just about every nook and cranny of the World Wide Web. Honestly, if you haven't been to FARK at least once in your net-surfing lifetime, I feel a little sorry for you. But, just in case, try this out for size. Oh sure, I'll provide a little taste, too.

Gene Simmons's lawyer confirms sex tapes, love handles are authentic. With cease and desist goodness. LOOK AWAY LOOK AWAY

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II- GIRLS WITH SLINGSHOTS

My love for Web Comics continues just as my worthless and nearly-non-existent knowledge of women (married going on 9 years, as well) escalates. So what better place to get your daily dose of what it's really like to get a glimpse inside the mind of women drawn by a woman than right here. An amazing comic by an amazing artist. Ya can't get better than that.

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I- THE KINGDOM OF LOATHING On the web there are tons of sites dedicated solely to millions of different games. Some are simple and just plain fun, and others are massive worlds filled with hundreds of characters and monumental story lines. This game, however, is something completely different. Oh sure, it has all of the tasks, adventures, classes, weapons, and worlds you've come to expect from other games, but Kingdom of Loathing offers up one thing the other's do not: absolute and complete addicting fun. Yes, it's black and white, yes it's stick figures, but what it lacks in special effects and graphics it more than makes up for in over-the-top humor and great story telling. I promise that once you create your character and join the ranks, nothing -and I mean nothing- will give you a more satisfying couple of hours.