THE TOP 15 MOST IRRITATING 80'S SONGS

The eighties were an abundance of rotten, inexplicable, and completely memorable music... most often unfortunately so. The decade of the hair bands featuring flash-in-the pan latex-clad rockers, many of whom were gone in the blink of an eye, as well as the time of the wicked one-hit-wonders who would grace, and stain, the air waves with the flavor of the month, and then fade into soon-to-become nostalgic obscurity. Few other musical time periods gave the world such a plethora of diverse songs to choose from. And, how ever you look at it, they also left quite the bad tastes lingering in our collective mouths. Here are fifteen of the most irritating and annoying, and at once horrendously lodged in our minds, songs of that most prolific decade. I have posted each with the dastardly lyrics AND videos so you can all recall the agony. FEEL THE PAIN!

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15. Matthew Wilder - Nobody Gonna Break My Stride (1983)

So Many Keytars, So Little Talent.

Lyrics: Last night I had the strangest dream I sailed away to China In a little row boat to find ya And you said you had to get your laundry cleaned Didn't want no-one to hold you What does that mean And you said Ain't nothin' gonna to break my stride Nobody's gonna slow me down, oh-no I got to keep on movin' Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride I'm running and I won't touch ground Oh-no, I got to keep on movin' You're on a roll and now you pray it lasts The road behind was rocky But now you're feeling cocky You look at me and you see your past Is that the reason why you're runnin' so fast And she said Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride Nobody's gonna slow me down, oh-no I got to keep on moving Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride I'm running and I won't touch ground Oh-no, I got to keep on moving Never let another girl like you, work me over Never let another girl like you, drag me under If I meet another girl like you, I will tell her Never want another girl like you, have to say Ooooooh Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride Nobody's gonna slow me down Oh-no, oh-no, I got to keep on moving Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride I'm running and I won't touch the ground Oh-no, I got to keep on movin' Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride Nobody's gonna slow me down Oh-no, oh-no, I got to keep on moving Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride I'm running and I won't touch the ground Oh-no, I got to keep on movin' Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride Nobody's gonna slow me down Oh-no, I got to keep on moving Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride I'm running and I won't touch the ground Oh-no, I got to keep on movin' Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride Nobody's gonna slow me down Oh-no, oh-no, I got to keep on moving

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14. Michael Jackson - Billie Jean (1982)

Dirty Back Alley Plus Lighted Walk-Way = Pedophile Path

Lyrics: She was more like a beauty queen from a movie scene I said dont mind, but what do you mean I am the one Who will dance on the floor in the round She said I am the one who will dance on the floor in the round 2nd verse She told me her name was billie jean, as she caused a scene Then every head turned with eyes that dreamed of being the one Who will dance on the floor in the round Bridge People always told me be careful of what you do And dont go around breaking young girls hearts And mother always told me be careful of who you love And be careful of what you do cause the lie becomes the truth Chorus Billie jean is not my lover Shes just a girl who claims that I am the one But the kid is not my son She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son 3rd verse For forty days and forty nights The law was on her side But who can stand when shes in demand Her schemes and plans cause we danced on the floor in the round So take my strong advice, just remember to always think twice (do think twice) 4th verse She told my baby,we where dancing still 3:00 Then she looked at me, she show me a photo My baby cried, cause his eyes where like mine Bridge People always told me be careful of what you do And dont go around breaking young girls hearts She came and stood right by me Then the smell of sweet perfume This happened much too soon She called me to her room Chorus Billie jean is not my lover Shes just a girl who claims that I am the one But the kid is not my son Billie jean is not my lover Shes just a girl who claims that I am the one But the kid is not my son She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son Billie jean is not my lover Shes just a girl who claims that I am the one But the kid is not my son She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son She says I am the one, she says he is my son She says I am the one Billie jean is not my lover

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13. El Debarge - Who's Johnny? (1986)

From This Moment On, All Courtrooms Shall Have A Steve Gutenberg Cut-Out.

Lyrics: There she goes and knows I'm dying When she says, "Who is Johnny?" Games with names that girl is playing All she says is "Who is Johnny?" I try to understand because I'm people too And playing games is part of human nature My heart's in overdrive It's great to be alive Chorus: "Who's Johnny?" she said And smiled in her special way "Johnny" she said "You know I love you" "Who's Johnny?" she said And tried to look the other way Her eyes gave her away She makes sure I see her teasing Hear her say "Who is Johnny?" There's no way to take this easy Hear her say "Who is Johnny?" I really couldn't help but fall in love with her Her being there has made my life worth living I knew it from the start That I would lose my heart CHORUS Still pretending Who's Johnny Who's Johnny Who's Johnny Who's Johnny "Who's Johnny?" she said And tried to look the other way Her eyes gave her away Girls like her are very special Girls like her don't rest 'Till you too are a believer 'Till you too have caught their fever There she goes and knows I'm dying When she says "Who is Johnny?"

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12. Grim Reaper - See You in Hell (1984)

How Could You Ever Take That Lead Singer Seriously? LOOK AT HIM!

Lyrics: See you in hell!!! can I make you an offer you can't refuse I kept my eyes on you cause I tell you that you lose and you can come with me to a place you'll know so well and I will take you to the very gates of hell CHORUS See you in hell my friend See you in hell my friend See you in hell my friend I'll see you in hell!!! Your choice's up then how many sins can be yours at my kingdom final choice is yours! you can take it any time that you need next thing I'll borrow all you've got to do is bleed CHORUS> Interlude: Come with me, I will take you down to the very depths of your soul and I'll make you burn!!! See you...see you in hell!!! See you...see you in hell!!! See you in hell!!! can I make you an offer you can't refuse I kept my eyes on you cause I tell you that you lose and you can come with me to a place you'll know so well like I told you at the very gates of hell

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11. Dexy's Midnight Runners - Come on Eileen (1982)

Damn It! I Wore That SAME THING Yesterday!

Lyrics: Poor old Johnny Ray Sounded sad upon the radio But he moved a million hearts in mono Our mothers cried Sang along Who'd blame them You've grown, so grown Now I must say more than ever (Come On Eileen) Too-ra-loo-ra, too-ra-loo-rye, aye And we can sing just like our fathers Come on Eileen Oh, I swear what he means (what he means) At this moment you mean everything You in that dress My thoughts I confess Verge on dirty Oh, come on Eileen (Come On Eileen) These people round here Wear beaten down eyes sunk In smoke dried faces They're so resigned to what their fate is But not us (no not ever) But not us (not ever) We are far too young and clever (Remember) Too-ra-loo-ra, too-ra-loo-rye, aye And you'll hum this tune forever Come on Eileen Oh, I swear what he means Aah, come on let's Take off everything That pretty red dress Eileen (tell him yes) Aah, come on let's Aah, come on Eileen That pretty red dress Eileen (tell him yes) Aah, come on let's Aah, come on Eileen Come on Eileen, too-rye-aye Come on Eileen, too-rye-aye Now you're full grown Now you have shown Oh, Eileen Say, come on Eileen These things they are real and I know How you feel Now I must say more than ever Things round here have changed I say, too-ra-loo-ra, too-ra-loo-rye-aye Come on Eileen Oh, I swear (what he means) At this moment, you mean everything You in that dress, my thoughts I confess Which are dirty Aah, come on Eileen Aah, come on Eileen Oh, I swear (what he means) At this moment, you mean everything You in that dress, my thoughts I confess Well, they're dirty Come on Eileen Come on Eileen...

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10. Herbie Hancock - Rockit (1983)

No lyrics, but here's the gag-inducing video.

OK, That Is One SCARY MOTHER FUCKIN' Video!

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9. Paul McCartney - Spies Like Us (1985)

Here's Your Link To This Mess Of A Video Obviously Sponsored By 'COKE' If You Get My Meaning.

Lyrics: Ooh ooh what do you do No one else can dance like you So what's all the fuss There ain't nobody that spies like us Hey hey what do you say Someone took your plans away So what's all the fuss There ain't nobody that spies like us Hey don't feel afraid Of an undercover aid There's no need to fuss There ain't nobody that spies like us Spies like us We don't know the meaning of fear We play every minute by ear One for all and all for one Everybody's on the run Especially at this time of year Ooh ooh what do you do No one else can dance like you So what's all the fuss There ain't nobody got spies like us Hey hey what do you say No one else can look that way So what's all the fuss There ain't nobody got spies like us We get there by hook or by crook We don't do a thing by the book Never needed special clothes How we did it no one knows I guess we must have had what it took Ooh ooh, ooh Oh when things get tough (Oh when things get tough) Guys like us act rough (Guys like us act rough) Hey hey what do you say Someone took your plans away So what's all the fuss There ain't nobody that spies like us Spies like us

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8. Denise Williams - Let's Hear it For the Boy (1984)

Stand Up And Be Heard If Not Only This Video But Also The Movie Footloose Make You Want To Go On A Killing Spree!

Lyrics: My baby, he don't talk sweet He ain't got much to say But he loves me, loves me, loves me Oh know that he loves me anyway And maybe he don't dress fine But i don't really mind 'cuz every time he pulls me near I just wanna cheer: (chorus) Let's hear it for the boy Oh, let's give the boy a hand Let's hear it for my baby You gotta understand Maybe he's no romeo But he's my loving one man show Let's hear it for the boy! My baby may not be rich He's waching every dime But every night he holds me And we always have a real good time And maybe he sings off key That's all right by me But what he does, he does so well Makes me wanna yell: (chorus)

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7. New Kids on the Block - The Right Stuff (1988)

I'm fairly certain this video just made fifteen percent less heterosexual

Lyrics: The right stuff The right stuff (Verse) The first time was a great time The second time was a blast The third time I fell in love Now I hope it lasts I can see it in you walk Tell it when you talk Can see it in everything you do Even in your thoughts (Chorus) You got the right stuff baby I love the way you turn me on You got the right stuff baby You're the reason why I sing this song All that I needed was you Oh, girl, you're so right And all that I wanted was you You made all my dreams come true Oh Oh Oh Oh, Oh Oh Oh Oh. Oh Oh Oh Oh, Oh Oh Oh Oh. (Verse) The first kiss was a sweet kiss The second kiss had a twist The third and your fourth kiss I don't want to miss I can see it in you walk Tell it when you talk Can see it in everything you do Even in your thoughts (Chorus) Oh Oh Oh Oh, Oh Oh Oh Oh. Oh Oh Oh Oh, Oh Oh Oh Oh. Girl, yeah baby You know you got the right stuff Girl, yeah baby You know you know you got it, girl In my life, it's so right You made it. Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh, Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh the right stuff. Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh, Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh the right stuff. (Chorus)...(out)

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6. Judas Priest - Breakin' the Law (1980)

Yes, I'm Aware Judas Priest Generally Rocks... But C'Mon! Seriously?

Lyrics: There I was completely wasting, out of work and down all inside it's so frustrating as I drift from town to town feel as though nobody cares if I live or die so I might as well begin to put some action in my life Breaking the law, breaking the law Breaking the law, breaking the law Breaking the law, breaking the law Breaking the law, breaking the law So much for the golden future, I can't even start I've had every promise broken, there's anger in my heart you don't know what it's like, you don't have a clue if you did you'd find yourselves doing the same thing too Breaking the law, breaking the law Breaking the law, breaking the law Breaking the law, breaking the law Breaking the law, breaking the law You don't know what it's like Breaking the law, breaking the law Breaking the law, breaking the law Breaking the law, breaking the law Breaking the law, breaking the law Breaking the law

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5. Billy Ocean - Caribbean Queen (1986)

For Once, I Am Completely Speechless.

Lyrics: She dashed by me in painted on jeans And all heads turned 'Cause she was the dream In the blink of an eye I knew her number and her name yeah She said I was the tiger She wanted to tame Caribbean queen Now we're sharing the same dream And our hearts they beat as one No more love on the run I lose my cool When she steps in the room And I get so excited Just from her perfume Electric eyes that you can't ignore And passion burns you like never before I was in search of a good time Just running my game, yeah Love was the furthest Furthest from my mind Caribbean queen Now we're sharing the same dream And our hearts they beat as one No more love on the run Caribbean queen Now we're sharing the same dream And our hearts they beat as one No more love on the run [Instrumental Interlude] Caribbean queen Now we're sharing the same dream And our hearts they beat as one No more love on the run Caribbean queen Now we're sharing the same dream And our hearts they beat as one No more love on the run

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4. Olivia Newton John - Let's Get Physical (1982)

You Know, As Much As I Love Olivia (And How Can You Not... She's A Goddamn FOX) There Is Entirely TOO MUCH Crotch In This Video

Lyrics: I'm saying all the things that I know you'll like Making good conversation I gotta handle you just right You know what I mean I took you to an intimate restaurant Then to a suggestive movie There's nothing left to talk about Unless it's horizontally Let's get physical, physical I wanna get physical Let's get into physical Let me hear your body talk, your body talk Let me hear your body talk I've been patient, I've been good Tried to keep my hands on the table It's gettin' hard this holdin' back If you know what I mean I'm sure you'll understand my point of view We know each other mentally You gotta know that you're bringin' out The animal in me Let's get physical, physical I wanna get physical Let's get into physical Let me hear your body talk, your body talk Let me hear your body talk Let's get physical, physical I wanna get physical Let's get into physical Let me hear your body talk, your body talk Let me hear your body talk Let's get physical, physical I wanna get physical Let's get into physical Let me hear your body talk, your body talk Let me hear your body talk Let's get animal, animal I wanna get animal Let's get into animal Let me hear your body talk Let me hear your body talk

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3. Tony Basil - Hey Mickey! (1981)

Where's Jason Voorhees When I Need Him... He Has No Love For Cheerleaders

Lyrics: Oh, Mickey, you're so fine You're so fine you blow my mind Hey, Mickey Hey, Mickey Oh, Mickey, you're so fine You're so fine you blow my mind Hey, Mickey Hey, Mickey Oh, Mickey, you're so fine You're so fine you blow my mind Hey, Mickey Hey, Mickey You've been around all night And that's a little long You think you've got the right But I think you've got it wrong Why can't you say goodnight So you can take me home, Mickey 'Cause when you say you will It always means you won't You're givin' me the chills, baby Please, baby don't Every night you still leave me alone, Mickey Oh, Mickey, what a pity You don't understand You take me by the heart When you take me by the hand Oh, Mickey, you're so pretty Can't you understand It's guys like you, Mickey Oh, what you do, Mickey, do, Mickey Don't break my heart, Mickey Hey, Mickey Now when you take me by the hooves Who's ever gonna know And every time you move I let a little more show There's something you can use Wo don't say no, Mickey So come on and give it to me anyway you can Anyway you want to do it I'll take it like a man Oh, please baby, please Don't leave me in the damn, Mickey Oh, Mickey, what a pity You don't understand You take me by the heart When you take me by the hand Oh, Mickey, you're so pretty Can't you understand It's guys like you, Mickey Oh, what you do, Mickey, do, Mickey Don't break my heart, Mickey Oh, Mickey, you're so fine You're so fine, you blow my mind Hey, Mickey, hey, Mickey Oh, Mickey, you're so fine You're so fine, you blow my mind Hey, Mickey, hey, Mickey Oh, Mickey, you're so fine You're so fine, you blow my mind Hey, Mickey Oh, Mickey, what a pity You don't understand You take me by the heart When you take me by the hand Oh, Mickey, you're so pretty Can't you understand It's guys like you, Mickey Oh, what you do, Mickey, do, Mickey Don't break my heart, Mickey Oh, Mickey, what a pity You don't understand You take me by the heart When you take me by the hand Oh, Mickey, you're so pretty Can't you understand It's guys like you, Mickey Oh, what you do, Mickey, do, Mickey Don't break my heart, Mickey Oh, Mickey, what a pity You don't understand You take me by the heart When you take me by the hand Oh, Mickey, you're so pretty Can't you understand It's guys like you, Mickey Oh, what you do, Mickey, do, Mickey Don't break my heart, Mickey

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2. Mike Post & Stephen Geyer - The Greatest American Hero (1981)

Yeah, Great Show, But That Song Just Stuck With You Until You Wanted To Gouge Your Brain Out With A Dental Pick

Lyrics: Look at what's happened to me, I can't believe it myself. Suddenly I'm up on top of the world, It should've been somebody else. Believe it or not, I'm walking on air. I never thought I could feel so free-. Flying away on a wing and a prayer. Who could it be? Believe it or not it's just me. It's like a light of a new day-, It came from out of the blue. Breaking me out of the spell I was in, Making all of my wishes come true-. Believe it or not, I'm walking on air. I never thought I could feel so free-. Flying away on a wing and a prayer. Who could it be? Believe it or not it's just me.

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1. Starship - We Built This City (1985)

This Is, Undeniably, The Soundtrack IN HELL! I Hear This Song And Can't Help But Imagine Acres Of Suffering And Sorrow. AGONY, I TELL YOU!

Lyrics: Chorus: We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll Built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll Say you don't know me, or recognize my face Say you don't care who goes to that kind of place Knee deep in the hoopla, sinking in your fight Too many runaways eating up the night Marconi plays the mamba, listen to the radio, don't you remember We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll chorus Someone's always playing corporation games Who cares they're always changing corporation names We just want to dance here, someone stole the stage They call us irresponsible, write us off the page Marconi plays the mamba, listen to the radio, don't you remember We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll chorus It's just another Sunday, in a tired old street Police have got the choke hold, oh, then we just lost the beat Who counts the money underneath the bar Who rides the wrecking ball into our guitars Don't tell us you need us, 'cos we're the ship of fools Looking for America, coming through your schools (I'm looking out over that Golden Gate bridge on another gorgeous sunny Saturday, and I'm seein' that bumper to bumper traffic) Don't you remember (remember) (Here's your favorite radio station, in your favorite radio city The city by the bay, the city that rocks, the city that never sleeps) Marconi plays the mamba, listen to the radio, don't you remember We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll chorus repeats 2x (We built, we built this city) built this city (we built, we built this city) (repeats out)