Yes, I know I've done cereal lists in the past, but so what? I love cereal so much I could, potentially, eat it for every meal provided I had Wheaties and Raisin Bran Crunch for at least two of those meals. Anyway, it just occurred to me that so many breakfast goodies have come and gone over the years, many from my childhood alone (Mid 70's through mid 80's) and I just suddenly got a nostalgic feeling of longing. So, rather than track down the missing pieces of mornings gone by on somewhere like Ebay, thereby ensuring I shell out gobs of cash, I decided to make a list of a dozen I just happen to miss more than others. And, since I really appreciate suggestions, however scathing and oftentimes nasty, I'll be making this the first in a series. OK, enjoy a big heaping spoonful of these guys!
**Oh, lest I forget, I have to give a big fat thanks to these guys right here, at Topher's Breakfast Cereal website for not only reminding me of several cereals I'd forgotten, but also providing the only images of a few of them available on the web. Thanks a ton, fellas!**
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12) FRUIT N' FIBRE
I'm pretty sure my grandma owned stock in this granola-meets-musli menagerie. Every time I went over there to spend the night as a child, I always woke to harvest time in one of her octagonal porcelain bowls. And honestly, I loved the stuff. It was about the only time I ever got to eat dates, for one thing, but it was also really tasty. I couldn't find a decent picture of the old-style box, but this one is still full of the same stuff.
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11) MARSHMALLOW MANIA PEBBLES
I bought this crazy crap for myself quite a while ago before it made its final pilgrimage from our local store shelves. Now I'm not much of a marshmallow fan in general. In fact, unless they're melted on chocolate on some graham crackers or corking up the top of my cocoa, I can't stand them. However, everyone knows that cereal mallows are something different entirely, and I could, in all honestly, eat a bowl of nothing but mallow-bits. Anyway, these Pebbles feature said bits and were pretty darn good as well as offering up a wafting of quite attractive vanilla aroma reminiscent of a baking kitchen. Nice.
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10) FRUIT BRUTE
Obviously the most elusive of the Monster Cereals, and for now, nearly extinct from everywhere I'm aware of, Fruit Brute was some kind of good. I remember it being really similar in fruitiness to stale Fruit Loops with the standard inclusion of Mallow Bits, again. Every Monster Cereal offered up its own fruity flavor of the mallows, and the werewolf-inspired fifth-member had something akin to berry flavored ones. So good. It was eventually shoved off the shelves by a far weaker member of the Horror Collective called Fruity Yummy Mummy.
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9) CRISPY CRITTERS
I couldn't safely get away without including this popular ad from the 80's inspired in voice by Jimmy Durante. However, after seeing this commercial again for the first time in a while, I'm almost positive that this stuff was pretty much just animal crackers in a bigger box. I remember this stuff being really crunchy and pretty resistant to the encroaching sogginess of milk, and also awfully big pieces, as well. Anyway, I ate a bunch of this stuff as a kid and it's too bad I can't get any for my own children. Oh well.
Ya know, as sickeningly sweet as this commercial is, that giant-headed kid scares the shit out of me.
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8) PEANUT BUTTER TOAST CRUNCH
The only cereal in the lot that I have not tasted. And, for the most part, I've only seen in an ad. I wish I'd been a party to its wonderful flavor, since I am a huge fan of peanut butter and thoroughly enjoy Cap'n Crunch's Peanut Butter Crunch. Boy, just thinking about this stuff makes me long for a local vendor. That's it, I'm going a-huntin' this weekend.
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7) ICE CREAM CONES
My other grandma (not the one who stocked ump-teen boxes of Fruit N' Fibre), always made sure we had oodles of sugary cereals when we came by for an overnight visit. Not to go off on a tangent here, but she'd also pretty much force-feed us candy, sweets, cakes, and any other not-so-healthy snacks every time we so much as walked through the door. Anyway, we always had this cereal over there and I recall really enjoying it despite the fact that the 'cones' always reminded me of miniature Bugles. Whatever.
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6) DINKY DONUTS
If I remember correctly, this cereal was the forerunner to those ever-so-chocolaty Dunkin' Donuts that I could scarcely find any decent information on. Regardless, this particular stuff was only available for my eating pleasure once or twice when we'd visit family in Maryland. I don't know why I remember that, but for some reason my Aunt always had a box of this, likely because I mentioned that they were good. But, I honestly can't describe the flavor right now if you put a gun to my head. I guess I liked them, though.
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5) BANANA FROSTED FLAKES
Sorry about the piss-poor picture here, but I at least found a video, right? Yeah, and man do I remember that ad popping up all over the place for a good while up until they yanked this product from the shelves. Too bad, because this stuff was so damn good. I happen to love fake banana flavoring almost as much as the real thing. Sort of the opposite with phony root beer flavor, like in those barrels, nasty! Anyway, sorely missed.
Wait... did that little girl not have a top on? Oh sweet Jesus I hope not! That's just fucking WRONG!
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4) BIGG MIXX
How can you forget the Chicken-Wolf-Moose-Pig of the Yakima Valley? Or the cereal supposedly made from the floor-sweepings from the Kellogg's Factory? So good and such a clever idea and I used to love these ads! Sadly, I couldn't find any.
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3) DOUBLE CHEX
Damn, I couldn't even find a picture of this delicious cereal, and that sucks. I used to eat the hell out of this stuff every morning during high school, and, for some reason, we always sang the song once there. I think, now that I look back on it, that I was a complete and utter dork. Meh.
I seriously could not find the good Double Chex ad where the twins repeat everything from like the nineties, so, sorry about this one. It makes me want to punt a kitten!
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2) HALFSIES
So, while perusing Youtube I found an ad for this interspersed with a bunch of other commercials and TV show bumpers... however, the dingus that posted it decided no one else could have it. Oh well, at least I found one picture thanks to Tophers Cereal page (see link in the opener). Yeah, I ate a bit of this cereal for sure, since my parents were pretty sizable advocates for healthier breakfast treats. I actually kind of liked it but, like so many other saccharine-enhanced foods and beverages, it had a bit of a metallic aftertaste. Mmm... and good for you, too!
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1) OJ'S
Absolutely my most longed-for and sought-after cereal from my childhood. I LOVED this stuff and it was surprisingly tasty in a bowl of milk; a bit reminiscent of an Orange Cream Soda, actually. The ad, which I've included, was hilarious to me as a kid basically because we thought that the cowboy (presumably, one OJ) had an enormous chin. We used to draw his massive jaw starting at one end of our mile-long street all the way to the other, on chalk, and laugh our silly asses off. Good times, man. Good times.
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1 comments:
Hey man, what about Rocky Road? I LOVED that stuff! Great list!
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